Jokes - Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean

BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
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MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE

SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
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3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
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AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
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3 Parrots

3 Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?



The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."



The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.


Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

SANTA & BANTA JOKES

SANTA & BANTA JOKES

SANTA: TUMHARI WIFE GUM HUI TO POLICE KO Q NAHI BATAYA? BANTA: JAB MERA SCOOTER GUM HUA THA TO UNHONE 15/20 DIN ISTEMAL KARKE LOUTAYA THA. ************************************************************************ Hum To Kirayedar Hain Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai. Banta- Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain.. ************************************************************************ Andhera Santa: Mujhe Toh Aankhey Band Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai. Banta: Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai? Santa: Andhera. ************************************************************************ Santa to Pappu Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo. Pappu: Who's Banta? Santa: Pata nai. Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo. ************************************************************************ Kaun hai jo Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he? Santa: Airhostess! ************************************************************************ Ek baat batani hai Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi. Santa: Bolo. Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu! Santa: It's a gud News. Jeeto: Shadi ke pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi. ************************************************************************ Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ? ************************************************************************ Tameez se bat karo Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge? ************************************************************************ Banta mujra dekhne gaya Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha. Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo. Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. Gud Night. ************************************************************************ Itna bada Pappu: Dad, main itna bada kab banunga ke main mummy ko bina bataye ghar se bahar ja sakoon. Santa: Beta, itna bada to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua... ************************************************************************ Antim ichchha Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai? Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..! ************************************************************************